You are my Lord because you have no need of my goodness.
Psalm 16:2
We have been going through Augustine’s Confessions for the men’s reading group, and he renders this Psalm in a way unlike any other translation. I love it so much!
It is quite freeing to think that God has no need of my goodness. This immediately gives me a release from the tyranny of my unrelenting conscience (albeit, temporarily) which is always reminding me to constantly improve, sharpen my skills, and strive for more. Playing the “goodness game” is a never-ending battle that is not just about what we do, but who we are in the soul of our very being. Ultimately, this is a matter of identity.
Who am I if I do not have a good enough job or make enough money? What is left of me if were to cease a particular activity that gives me a sense of worth? How could I operate in the world if I did not have x, y, or z?
We can play the “goodness game” with anything, as the comparing and contrasting game is never-ending, because “good” is only a relative term in contrast to “bad.” How “good” is good enough? Unfortunately, we often get so caught up in this frantic business that we forget the transient nature of all things. What is good to us now is going to transform into another form that we may no longer deem as good.
What do we truly hold dearest which is perhaps good, but nevertheless, temporal and headed for disappointment? Or perhaps we could ask the question this way: what is that which is dearest to us that is actually holding us? Nothing remains the same for very long, and as long as our goodness and identity is wrapped up in anything but the Unconditioned, then our pursuits are based on conditions which are destined to fail us eventually.
In this uniquely unsettling moment, all of our conditions for happiness are being shaken like a tree that sheds its winter fruit when confronted by a gale. When all of our usual comforts and distractions are taken from us, what is left of us? What kind of goodness have we been holding on to because we think it impresses God and/or others? Does it truly gives us Life, or is it actually stealing, killing, and destroying us? (John 10:10)
We find ourselves in the midst of a great and challenging time to examine our relationship to what we do and how we derive our sense of self from it. Certainly, we were created for good works (Ephesians 2:10) but we have no need to base our inherent goodness on anything other than our standing in the presence of Christ, which is freely given to us. Imitate the blessed One, Who has no need of our goodness, and simply delights in the sheer Grace of existence that has been given to us.
Ian Matthew Rice